Matchmaking through the Houses of Allah

 

As many of you know, I (Imam Chris), created a matchmaking committee in the beginning of 2020.

We had an application process collecting details about those seeking marriage, allowing them to browse other potentials while protecting the privacy of each. We had over 200 applicants, and keeping track of them was a huge challenge for volunteers.

We also had several events that were all very carefully designed to avoid some of the criticisms that other similar singles events had. We held some community wide events and some for specific demographics. We also have had to address various apprehensions that some community members have voiced, out of excessive conservatism, about having single men and women in the same space together for such purposes.

While our efforts were much appreciated and so many of you thanked us for trying, we concluded that the challenges and lack of success involved made the process ultimately too great of an effort.

Our committee is still active while we consider the best ways to help the single men and women of our community find each other.

As an imam who has — as of this writing — performed over 70 marriages here in Pittsburgh, I always ask couples how did you meet and decide to marry? The answers boil down to three:

  1. Those who met through family or friends. And so I say, if you have family here, especially opposite gender siblings that can introduce you to their friends; or if you have friends who have opposite gender siblings and can learn about others, seize those opportunities.

  2. Those who met through school, work, activity or experience. So get out there. Ask yourself, “what is my ideal spouse doing write now? Are they at a library? the masjid? the gym? Planting trees or helping old ladies cross the street?” Go to where you think you would find them, and make yourself known.

  3. Lastly, those who met through apps like Muzz Match, Salaam, Half your Deen, Single Muslim, etc. This may especially be a good option for introverts (and it is how I and my wife, both introverts, found each other!).

Bottom line: put yourself out there. Try all methods at your disposal. Make duaa for what is best. Put your trust in Allah.